3 Signs You've Given Up. How to Push Through Hard Times | For the Ambitious Introvert

What if you haven’t officially quit, but somewhere along the way, you stopped really trying? You’re still showing up. You’re still doing what needs to be done. But the energy, hope, and drive you once had are gone.

In this episode of The Driven Introvert, I’m sharing three signs you may have quietly given up, and what it can look like to push through hard times when disappointment, failure, or overwhelm have taken more out of you than you realized.

I also share a personal story from one of the hardest seasons of my life. After earning my master’s degree, I struggled for years to find meaningful work. I applied for jobs, faced rejection after rejection, and eventually reached a moment when I knew: this is where people give up.

I was sitting at my kitchen counter, crying over yet another rejection email, when I had to make a decision. Would I stop trying? Or would I get up and do the next thing I could do?

In this episode, we’ll talk about three signs you may be stuck: you’ve stopped moving, you’ve stopped believing in possibilities, and you’ve stopped fighting for your own dreams. We’ll also talk about what those signs can look like in everyday life—and why recognizing them isn’t about judging yourself. It’s about becoming aware enough to get unstuck.

And if you’re an introvert who feels overwhelmed by the constant noise, negativity, expectations, and energy of the world around you, there’s a part of this conversation especially for you. Sometimes the question becomes, “What’s the point?” What’s the point in dreaming again, trying again, or putting yourself out there again?

But you don’t have to fix everything around you to push through hard times. Sometimes you simply need one positive action. One prayer, one conversation, one idea you’re willing to revisit, or one small step toward the life and work you know you still care about.

If you’ve been wondering how to get unstuck after disappointment, failure, or a long season of feeling drained, I hope this episode reminds you that you can begin again. You may have slowed down. You may have lost hope. You may even realize that you’ve quietly given up.

But you can still push through hard times, take the next step, and start moving again.

What is one positive action you can take today?

Thanks for being here! If you'd like to support the show, please visit buymeacoffee.com/remiroy to give a one-time or monthly gift. 

And if you can’t give financially right now? A rating, a review, or simply sharing the show with a friend goes such a long way.

Thank you for being here. I see you. I appreciate you.

Transcript

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There was a time in my life when I was tempted to give up, and I can deliberately remember having the presence of mind to know in that moment, Remy, where you are right now, this space and time, this is the kind of situation where people give up. This is the point where people throw in the towel, like metaphorically, and just stop trying. It was after multiple rejections, multiple failures, trying to get a job after paying thousands of dollars to get a master's degree. And in the span of almost three years, I had not been able to get a job that paid more than a couple dollars every week. I had experienced failure after failure, rejection after rejection. And one day I was sitting at my kitchen counter. I had gotten an email from a company I had applied to. This was a company where I did my internship, so I thought I had a leg up over all the other applicants, and I still got a rejection. And I remember looking at that email, sitting at my kitchen counter, weeping and crying and writing in my journal with tears falling down the page. And all I could think was, Remy, this is the point where people give up. This is the point where people throw in the towel and just coast, like, whatever. I've tried too hard, it's not working, I don't know what else to do. I don't know if whatever it is that I believe the future holds for me will ever happen. Because why am I struggling so much? And I remember thinking at that time, but that is not me. I cannot give up. I cannot give this up. This is not me. It took a couple of days. I wallowed as much as I could, but I knew I had to get up again. So I went back to tinkering, I went back to trying, I went back to writing, I went back to blogging and doing the things that I knew I could do at the time, even though they were giving me no income. I went back to looking for freelancing opportunities. I went back to promoting my book that no one bought. I went back to all the things I could do, even though nothing guaranteed that were going to work and give me some sort of income in the next few weeks, months, or even years. But I knew I had to do something because I knew I could not give up. So how do you know when you've given up? Not necessarily that you've stopped doing anything. You may still be going through the motions, you may still be showing up every day, but how do you know when somewhere inside of you you stopped really trying, reaching for more? I want to share three signs that you may have given up and how you can begin pushing through hard times. No judgment here, all encouragement. Let's get into it. You're listening to the Driven Introvert Podcast, the place to be for dreamers, doers, and entrepreneurs who are ready to burst the dreams, callings, and ideas the Lord has placed in their hearts. Do you sense that God is calling you to step out and do something new, but you're held back by fear and uncertainty? Do you struggle with believing that you can do great things because of your quiet, reserved, and introverted nature? Welcome here. I'm Remy Roy, your host and founder of Sheepact.com. I'm an author, an entrepreneur, a creative, and a committed trier. I'm here to help you get on stuck and make progress on your God idea. Let's go. So, what does it actually mean to give up? When I talk about giving up here, I don't necessarily mean that you've stopped doing all the things. You may still be going through the motions, you're doing the thing day in and day out, but the energy, the drive, the passion to actually move like decisively in any particular direction is just not there. You're not accelerating what you're already doing so that it can become better. And you're not shifting course or trying something different. You're simply going through the motions. That's the kind of giving up I'm talking about. I want to share three signs that you might be there. Again, there's no judgment. If you find yourself in this situation, no judgment. I just want to encourage you. Because it's good to recognize where you are so that hopefully you can figure out the way forward. So sign number one that you've given up, and that is you stopped moving. The first sign is that you're not happy where you are, you're not fulfilled where you are, you know this is not where you want to be. You've even considered maybe other options. Maybe you have one option, maybe two, or even three, maybe more. But you still don't have the passion or the drive to pursue any of those things. So you don't. You don't have the drive to at least try something. You're definitely going through the motion. You know this is not where you want to be, but you are not moving in any direction that takes you somewhere different. That may be a sign that you've given up. A sign that you're no longer putting in that extra effort to change your life. Because it does take effort to change your life at any point. And again, no judgment here. Sometimes the way forward is not simply to choose something and go for it. You will get to that point. You just have to. But sometimes the best way forward is to really evaluate your heart and your mind. What is your mental state right now? Why is it hard for you to move in a particular direction? There may be some underlying things holding you back. It might be fear. It's probably the most popular one. It might be some sort of self-sabotage. Part of you really wants to do the thing, but something keeps holding you back. Or maybe it's fear of success, fear of actually doing it, fear of what will need to change if it works. Or maybe you're not sure if you're ready for that amount of change in your life. So you self-sabotage by not doing the thing you know you should do, the thing you have the capacity, the competence, and the grace to do. You don't do it because you're not sure how things are going to pan out or what will be required of you. So if you recognize yourself here, the way out begins with evaluating why. Why is it hard for you to move? What is actually holding you back? So that's sign number one, you're not moving in any particular direction. Number two, you've stopped believing in possibilities. Another sign that you may have given up is that you find yourself actively talking down ideas, strategies, thoughts, or possibilities. Sometimes they're other people's ideas. You don't mean to be negative, you don't mean to tear them down or hurt their feelings, but because you are not moving in any fundamental and clear direction, when somebody around you start moving towards something, you begin to find fault with it. You find fault with what they're doing. You find fault with their ideas, you find fault with their drive, you find fault with the vision they have for their life. Their vision threatens you in a way. It threatens where you are because you're not moving forward. And a part of you may have essentially given up. This is why you feel this way. You find it difficult to champion people around you who are trying to do something because you're not doing it for yourself. But it might not even be somebody else's idea. It might be your own. Maybe an idea comes to you and you think, maybe I could do this, maybe I could try that. But before the idea even has the chance to grow, to flesh out, to become something, you shoot it down. You find all the reasons it may not work, you find all the reasons it's not possible, and then you don't do it. That may also be a sign that you've given up. So again, the way out begins with self-reflection. It is always self-reflection. Why is it hard for you to see the potential in an idea, a thought, a concept, a direction? Why is it hard to believe that something is actually possible? Why is it hard to champion that possibility, either for yourself or for someone else? And then the goal is to take one tiny step in one particular direction to break that cycle of inertia. Because the truth is at some point you have to get to that place where you make a move. It doesn't matter what it is. Hopefully you've thought about it, you planned a little bit around it, you find a strength, and then you make a move in whatever direction. That's the sign that you're actually moving forward. Alright. Number three, you've stopped fighting for your own dreams. The third sign is almost opposite of the second one. Maybe you're actually really good at supporting other people. You sit down with them and talk about the ideas. You go the extra mile to help them think and strategize about the things they want to do. You check on them, you ask how they are doing, you want to know how their idea is going, you're willing to champion them. But for yourself, you're not taking any particular step. You're not taking any sustained step in any particular direction. That may be a sign that you've given up. You've given up on your own ideas, you've given up on the things you know you could do. And somehow you may have decided to live vicariously through someone else. Maybe you've thought about your own thing for so long and you haven't found the strength to do it. Or maybe you actually tried and it didn't work. It didn't give you the result you wanted. So you gave up, essentially, and you decided you will just put all your energy into helping other people do their thing. And supporting other people is wonderful. But what about the things that have been placed inside of you? What about your own dreams? What about your own ideas? What about the things you know you have the capacity and the grace and competence to do? If there are people you've championed in the past, maybe it's time to let them work with you. Let them in on your own ideas, let them in on your struggles, let them in on what you want to do next, find support, find accountability, and begin moving in that direction. There's another layer to all of this, to be honest, and that is when life makes you ask sometimes, what's the point? Sometimes when we find ourselves stuck, unable to move forward, and having essentially given up, it's because of the signs and the stimuli we're constantly receiving from the outside world. And I think this is especially important for introverts, because as an introvert, um, we tend to pay attention to a lot of the stimuli coming at us from the outside world, and we can become easily overwhelmed by the noise, by the energy around us, everything that's happening. And y'all know we live in a crazy world. Things feel upside down. There's so much suffering, so much craziness. There's so much coming at us all the time. And sometimes it can make you ask, what's the point? What's the point in even trying? What's the point in doing things? What's the point in getting after my dreams and dreaming big and all of this? Especially as an introvert, you're really trying to manage your energy, you're trying to figure out how to show up, what to do next, and you're trying to figure out how to use your voice and do meaningful work, you know, and what can sometimes feel like a very loud, extroverted world? It can become a lot. So, as a challenge for you, if you're an introvert, maybe you're overwhelmed, you really want to leave a life that counts, but you're finding it increasingly difficult to shut out the noise around you, this is for you. Maybe you've internalized so much of what you're seeing and hearing that you've started to feel like there's no point in trying in this world. Maybe you've been overwhelmed by the negativity in the world, maybe you've been overwhelmed by the failures you have experienced in your own life. Maybe you're tired, maybe you're wondering what it will actually take to reach out for more and do more. More than just wake up every day, go to work, pay bills, and do it all over again. And slowly, without even realizing it, you started to coast. You've become jaded. But this is not a place to stay. This is not the way you were meant to live your life. You still have something to contribute, you still have ideas, you have gifts, you have things that matter to you. So I want to challenge you to not let the noise around you drown those things out. You don't have to fix the whole world. You don't have to respond to everything happening around you. You don't have to carry all of it, but you can decide what your positive action will be. What is one thing you can do? One person you can encourage, one idea you can begin working on. What's one step you can take toward the kind of life you know you want to live? I want this episode to spark a fire in you again, to remind you that you can go after the things that feed your soul, you can do the things that reach beyond just the ordinary. So you might be asking, how do you push through? The truth is this it is possible to dig yourself out of a hole. Whether life puts you in that hole, whether you dug the hole yourself and jumped into it, I've done that a couple of times. Whether somebody pushed you into the hole, and now you find yourself in a difficult place, unable to get out, there is hope. You can dig yourself out. It'll take self-reflection, it'll take evaluating where you are, it'll take asking what is holding you back, and it'll take finding the help and support you need to actually move in a particular direction. But I also believe the way we counter negativity is through positive action. I'm a woman of faith. I solely believe that God placed me on this earth for a purpose, and that fuels me. Whatever positive action I need to take, it comes from the power that fuels me, knowing that God has a purpose for my life. Positive action will involve loving the people around you enough to ask for a change, call for a change, or do something that changes the atmosphere, changes the environment, or changes your community. There's something, and God has given you that thing. Dig deep and you will find it. To do something. Do something. That's one of the best ways to counter negativity through positive action. And it doesn't have to be big, sweeping thing. It doesn't have to be the most involved move ever. Maybe it's one idea, one step, one thing, one thing you can begin to try, one thing you can begin to do so that you can move forward. Maybe your positive action is praying intentionally for something or someone. Maybe it's praying for a situation to change, maybe it's taking one specific step in a particular direction, deciding to sign up for that thing, deciding to start that thing, deciding to stop that thing, whatever it is. Maybe it's going back to something that worked before, trying it again and doing your best to become energized again. But it will take something. Alright, so these are just final reflections on this topic. Three signs that you may have given up. Number one, you've stopped moving. You've stopped moving in any particular direction. Number two, you've stopped believing in possibilities. You shoot down ideas, others, and your own. And number three, you've stopped fighting for your own dreams. You'll do everything else for everyone else, but not for yourself. If you recognize yourself in any of these, there is no judgment. Acknowledge it, reflect on it, go back to your dreams and your goals, go back to the things you thought you wanted to do, find accountability, find support, and take the first small step. Because whether you're overwhelmed by the negativity in the world, overwhelmed by your failures, or overwhelmed by what it will actually take to reach for more, that can be your moment to start to take positive action. You may feel like you've given up, but you can get up again. I've been there countless times. I know a hundred percent I've been there. I've sat at the kitchen counter with a rejection email, I cried into my genre, I wondered why I was struggling so much. And then I got up and tried something again. So what will your next positive action be? What's one step you can take, one thing you can try, one direction you can begin moving in again? And you don't have to figure out everything out today, but you have to decide that you're not going to give up. Alright, I would love to hear from you. If there's anything you're going through, walking through that you would like to talk to me about and share, um, I can be your accountability, I can be your support, email me at thedrivenintrovert at cheapact.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you so much for listening to this one, and I'll see you in the next one. Bye. Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoy this conversation, please take a moment to follow or subscribe to the podcast. I'd also love your feedback on this episode. You can scroll down on your app and click write a review. I'd love to read your takeaways from this conversation. As always, don't forget to take courage, trust God, and go pursue your big ideas. See you next time. The Driven Introvert is produced by sheepack.com and Remy Roy. Want to ask a question or share a comment in a future episode? Click on the link in the show notes to record your question in a voicemail.