How to Connect at Events and Conferences: Networking for Introverts

Have you ever walked into an event, immediately looked for the back of the room, and quietly hoped you could make it through without talking to too many people? I’ve been there. I’ve also found the one person I knew and stayed with them the entire time. But over the years, I’ve learned that networking for introverts doesn’t have to mean forcing yourself to become someone you’re not. You can learn to connect in a way that works with your personality and your energy.

Recently, I attended the Empowered Podcasting Conference in North Carolina as a speaker. I met people whose work I had followed for a while, had great conversations, learned from other podcasters, and shared my own experience from the stage. But I didn’t just walk into the conference and hope for the best. I prepared, and that preparation helped me show up with more confidence and intention.

In this episode, I share the simple three-part framework I use. 

• First, research before you go. 
• Second, know what you want the event to move forward in your life, career, or business. For me, networking for introverts works best when there is a clear purpose behind why I’m spending my energy and showing up in the room.
• Third, plan your exit. 

If networking for introverts has always felt awkward, exhausting, or intimidating, I hope this episode gives you a different way to approach your next event. You don’t need to work the entire room or become the loudest person there. You can prepare, connect intentionally, protect your energy, and still walk away with meaningful relationships and opportunities.

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I've been an introvert all my life, obviously. And I've gone through different stages of introversion and shyness. I've been the person who enters the room and makes a beeline for the back, ignoring everyone because I was too awkward to socialize. I've been the person who enters a room, you know, just looks for the one person I recognize, goes, sits with them, and always just stays with them throughout the entire event. I've also been the person who enters a room ready to connect, mostly because I have an idea of who's in the room, what I bring to that room, and what I can get from it. And I think all of this has taught me how to show up as an introvert in a way that works for me and makes sense for my energy. So today we're talking about how to connect at events and conferences, networking for introverts. Let's get into it. You're listening to the Driven Introvert Podcast, the place to be for dreamers, doers, and entrepreneurs who are ready to burst the dreams, callings, and ideas the Lord has placed in their hearts. Do you sense that God is calling you to step out and do something new, but you're held back by fear and uncertainty? Do you struggle with believing that you can do great things because of your quiet, reserved, and introverted nature? Welcome here. I'm Remy Roy, your host and founder of Cheapact.com. I'm an author, an entrepreneur, a creative, and a committed try. I'm here to help you get on stock and make progress on your God idea. Let's go. So introversion is not the same as shyness. I've talked about this a lot on the podcast about the fact that not every introvert is shy, and that this is a very crucial distinction. There are some introverts who prefer alone time, but when they have to connect and be around people, they are not shy about showing up and being there. This is me now. This past weekend I had the opportunity to be at the MPOD podcasting conference in North Carolina, and it was a great time. I showed up, I met people, I had followed for a while, I met new friends, old friends. It was great to be able to have a conversation with people for the first time and have some common ground because we all podcast, right? That helps. So it might be different for you if you're going into a room where you don't necessarily have common ground with a lot of people there. But I feel like there has to be some sort of common ground for you at an event or a conference that you want to go to. And that might differ depending on the gathering, and it's important to know that. So this is why I'm very strategic about events. For me now, I would only go to a conference if I know it's going to be beneficial for me in growing my knowledge, learning more, or connecting with people. Because I'm not an extrovert. I don't have endless energy to spare at any event, you know, at any for a long amount of time. I'm very strategic about how I show up at events and conferences. So ahead of time, I will do some analysis. Who are the kinds of people there? How can I connect with them if I want to? What do I bring to the table? What do I share? How do I exit? All of that is important to me. I want to know why I'm going. I want to know the people I'm going to be meeting and how I want to connect with them. I want to be able to really be of service, you know, to them and also learn from them. And I think about how we might be able to work together or collaborate on things like that. So when I think about this, it's important for me to be strategic. And then I think about how I'm going to exit because that's very important for me also as an introvert. I need to be able to, when I'm done, be done and head out of that room. That helps me preserve my energy and make sure I'm giving my best to the people that I meet there. So I want to provide a framework for you today for thinking about how to network at events and conferences and things like that. As an introvert, you will need this because it will come in handy. All right. Here's the framework. Number one, do your research. One thing I would definitely suggest all the time is do your research. What is this event about? Is this something you need to do? And why do you need to do it? What is the purpose of the event? Are you going to the event to meet specific people? Are you going to just kind of see what's happening and what's going on? I doubt that that would be your reason if you're an introvert, right? But do you have a specific agenda and what you want to see, how you want to show up at that event, right? So for me, I need to know how. I need to know why. What do I hope to get from this event? How am I going to learn? Am I going to simply meet people? Are there going to be specific people I want to meet? Is there something I want to get out of it? So for this particular event that I'm referencing, I was one of the speakers. So what I did was I went through the speaker list and I figured out the people I wanted to connect with. I looked at their website, I looked at their bios, I looked at their work so that I could have a point of connection. Some of them I had already been following for a long time. So that was easy. Somebody in particular, I had followed her podcast for a while and she's amazing. She had pivoted her podcast a couple of times, and I genuinely had a question. How do you decide when to pivot your content, you know, and how do you actually do it? That was one of the things we were able to talk about and connect on when we met at the conference. And because of that, I was not shy to go up to our introduce myself and say, hey, I love your show. I've been listening to your podcast for a while. I have some questions. And we were able to connect at the event and even after. So that is one thing I would encourage you to do. Never go into a networking event or a conference without having an agenda, without having a plan of action. It helps you preserve your energy. It helps you be less frazzled. Essentially, if you're the kind of person who has a tendency to be socially awkward or even anxious, it'll help you a lot. So planning ahead of time will help you preserve your energy and direct it where it really matters. All right, number two. This is very related but kind of different. Know what you want to get from the event. It's important to connect whatever it is you want to do at that conference with something that actually moves your life forward. Either your life, your business, your career, your education, whatever it is, right? It's okay to want to go and you know to want to go to an event just to have fun and connect with people, but how does it move you forward? My introvert brain and my overachieving brain combined will not let me go to an event if I cannot justify why I'm there. It just won't work. If I cannot justify this is what I'm gonna get from it, even if it's just connecting with certain specific people, it's gonna be hard. Or if I cannot tell if I'm going to learn this or that, or if it's an event with different sessions, I'm looking forward to listening to maybe a particular session or that session. I'm gonna take something away from that event that I can actually implement in my life. And this is very important for me because I need to have a reason to spend my energy. I don't have it in droves. I need a reason to be able to uh show up. And if I can come up with that reason, it'll help me show up better. It helps me show up really intentionally and be able to give and not just receive. Because to me, that's also important. I don't want to just go to a conference just to get from people. I want to be able to give something something. I want to be able to mix meet someone that I can talk to and encourage them. I love to encourage people, even if it's just I love your content, you're doing great. That's important to me. You can tell them, you know, how much you follow their work, or you can give your point of feedback that builds somebody else up. This is why community is so important. It's a give and take. So I just don't want to take all the energy, you know, all the good things and conversations out of a room and not be able to give something back. So it's important for you to decide what will you take away from this conference? What will you give to it? How will it move your work, your life, and your business forward? So, this is what that looked like for me. For that conference that I went to, I was there as a speaker. That was important for me because I'm building my communication skills, I'm building my speaking career. I want to be able to do more speaking, more opportunities to show up and be a resource to audiences and galvanize them and teach something. So this is important to me to be able to move in that direction. Taking this opportunity to show up, teach something valuable, and add that to my repertoire of experiences is great. I can add that to my website. I can add the logo of the Empowered Podcasting Conference to my speaker profile. All of this moves my career forward. So my brain tells me I need to be here. All right. And also because I mean I'm building in podcasting, it helps me connect with people and learn. You know, they know what I'm doing, I know what they're doing, and you can see how we can collaborate. So, number one, do your research ahead of time. Number two, be clear on what you're going to get from that event and how it moves your life forward. One thing I know for sure about introverts is maybe not all introverts, but most introverts are very intentional. We're not gonna use up our energy just for like nothing. There has to be a reason and an intention behind what we're doing. And if you're gonna go all the way from your home to an event, potentially get on a plane like I did, you need to know what is going to, you know, be worth your time. So you can learn from it and you can also give. All right, number three. This is important for me and it might sound weird, but plan your exit. For me, number three is I gotta plan my exit. I don't want to be frazzled. I don't want to be overwhelmed to the point where my energy is drained and now I'm feeling a little crabby before I leave. So as I'm planning and researching how I want to enter a space, I'm also researching how I'm going to exit that space. Very crucial. For me, because I traveled with my family this time to go to this event, I knew I couldn't just not be with them at all throughout the whole weekend. There were events and activities that I could not do with the rest of the group at the conference. You know, there were like after-hour things, happy hours and parties. Now, a part of me was like, well, I don't know if I would have done all of that, even if I wasn't, you know, by myself and without my family, because I'm not a very social person. I don't drink, so I don't know, maybe I wouldn't have done that, but maybe I would have been uh maybe tempted to at least try, right? Maybe I could have tried. I could have pushed myself for maybe one of the extra events and say, hey, I'm gonna go to this thing and just be there with people. But the added fact that I had my family with me made it more difficult to do that. So it's important for me to be able to really plan how I exit a space. So I had my plan. I would go for the day sessions and then return to the hotel. And then in the evenings, take a walk, grab dinner, go do some fun things with my family, and then go back the next morning for the rest of the sessions. And at evenings, I'll go back and do all of that. So I decided, okay, I'm gonna attend the sessions. I had them mapped out, I'm going to then attend this, and at the end of the day, this is when I will leave. That helps me protect my energy. It helps me look forward to the relief of being out of the space where I had to people so much. I'm using people as a verb now. Because for me as an introvert, I look forward to the time when I can be by myself. And that may sound weird to some people. Like, how do you look forward to that? For me, that's a treat. At the end of a long day when I've had to connect with people and talk and have conversations, I enjoy them now. I enjoy conversations, I enjoy all of that. But the highlight of my day is being able to wind down, be by myself, think, reflect, and just have a good old time. So being able to look forward to that and knowing when to leave is very crucial. I'm able to protect my energy, give my best to the people who are in my world at that time, and then find my way out. So this is the simple three-part framework that I use for connecting. So there's a side note here. It's important that you practice introducing yourself. When it comes to really introducing yourself and talking about what you do, a lot of introverts and maybe also shy people could have a problem with this, right? So if you are shy or maybe you're a socially anxious person, then you want to practice. Even if you have to practice in front of the mirror, even if you have to record yourself explaining what you do, it will be very helpful. Because when you are at a networking event or a conference, you're going to be answering a lot of questions about yourself. Oh, hi, what do you do? Tell me about your podcast, tell me about your work, tell me about this or that. You need to be able to, you know, provide words beyond my name is Remy and then running away. You need to have words. You need to be able to speak confidently, look people in the eye, and explain what you do. So being able to practice is very crucial. Find language for what you do. I did an exercise um this past uh couple of weeks where I worked with a coach and we worked on my brand point of view. And I tell you, that was the most clarifying, most amazing session I've ever had in trying to really think about what I do and how I talk about it. Because she gave me, I mean, not she, I mean, she took me through the process, but that process gave me language. It helped me explain what my business is about, what my brand is about, and what why it matters in society, how it matters to my industry, how we got here, what we do, and how we're making our users' lives better. So now when I talk to people, I have language for explaining why I do what I do. So if that's something you haven't done, you don't have to be building a brand or even a company to be able to do this. It can be your personal point of view. Where are you in your career? Maybe you work in banking, maybe you work in healthcare or something. What do you do? Why do you do what you do? Why are you excited about getting up in the morning and doing that job? Even if you're not in a place where you're completely excited and enjoying your job, why do you do it? What do you enjoy about it? What are you looking to do in the future? These are the kinds of things that can help you really explain yourself. Talk intelligently and be interesting to people when they meet you for the first time. Give people something to connect with. I remember years ago when I was still very, very socially anxious, I used to wonder why people did not find me interesting. And I realized it's because I'm not that interesting. I don't give them enough to even analyze or evaluate about me. Because when somebody asks me a question, I give one-liners and that's it. There's nothing to be interested in. So you need to give people more about you to be able to chew one, to be able to figure out who you are, what you're about. Then they can ask you questions, you can answer those questions, and you can get to know each other, and that's how connection happens. It's important to, you know, do this. Find language and you can use resources to practice your communication. If I can recommend something, I found this app, and it's funny when you get targeted on Instagram and Facebook and all these places, you know, with stuff, and this particular one, um, I just was getting a lot of ads about it, and it's called Rise Guide. I found it very helpful. It's an app and you you sort of they have exercises and different things that you can do to strengthen your communication skills. They have videos, they have like quizies, you can record your voice, and it'll give you um feedback on you know how you talked, you know, how to show up differently, how to speak confidently, how to show up in a room, how to do small talk, all of those things. It gives you exercises that you can actually practice. And um, it's great. Maybe you're the kind of person who gives closed-ended answers or one-liners or closed-ended questions, you know, that don't let people really give you enough context and be able to build connection, things like that, very practical. So if you can find a resource like that that can help you really evaluate yourself and your communication style, you should do it. You should absolutely do it. It goes a long way. So for me, I decided I didn't want to be that person anymore. I've come a long way in my communication skills because I took the time and I decided I don't want to be that person anymore. I don't want to be that chai person who will not speak up. I don't want to be that person who will not explain myself, who will not say the things that I want to say just because I'm afraid of social judgment, you know, or maybe I'm afraid of saying it wrong. I don't care. I'm just gonna say it, I'm just gonna say it. So I'm learning now to be more intentional about that. And I want to encourage you to do the same. So that's the three-part framework. If you're an introvert out there and you're worried about maybe the next networking event you have to go to or a conference that you've been asked to go to at work, use this three-part framework. I know it'll be helpful for you. Number one, research. Find out who's gonna be there, make a list of three or four people that you absolutely want to meet, prepare some questions for them. If you have to research their work, research anything that you can find about them online, then come up with questions you can ask them and then be bold. Be confident, walk up to them and say, Hey, it's nice to meet you. My name is Remy, and I connected with something you shared on this post, and I have a question. So, whether it is something you can say, a point of connection with that person, that'll be very helpful. Number two, know what you can get out of that event or that networking conference and how it will move your life forward. When you have something to chew and something to hold into, you have a purpose. Essentially, you have a purpose for going to that event. You are more likely to go up and talk to people and really pay attention and see how you can connect in that event because you have a purpose. Your introvert brain wants a purpose. So latch onto that purpose and it'll give you the feel you need to actually show up at that event. Number three, plan your exit. It is absolutely fine to plan your exit. I'm not the kind of person who says you have to be there all day. No, you have to protect your energy. You know your energy, you know how you show up and how you can give the best of yourself. So give the best of yourself and when you're done, you're done peopling, be out of there. You are absolutely allowed to do that. So here's a challenge for you. If you are an introvert, but you are driven and you want to show up at that event and be your best self, my challenge for you is practice how you introduce yourself. Answer these questions. Who are you? What are you working on right now that's interesting to you? What are you excited to explore? What is one thing you've heard lately that you would like to learn more about? Practice things like that. That'll help you when you're connecting with people and when you're sharing. You can talk about these things, and because you practice it, you'll be able to say it more confidently in a way that really engages people and gives them something interesting to connect with. All right, so I hope this helps you. As you think about that next event you want to attend, the next conference you've been asked to go to from work, and you've been freaking out about it because you're like, I don't know how I'm gonna do this, you can absolutely do this. Don't worry about it. Do the research ahead of time, follow this framework, go and do your best and have a great time. And remember, practice how you introduce yourself. It'll be very helpful. All right. If you have any questions about this or any experiences you want to share with me, I would love to hear from you. Send me an email at thedrivenintrovert at shepact.com and I'll talk to you soon. Thanks for listening to this one, and I'll see you in the next one. Bye. Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoy this conversation, please take a moment to follow or subscribe to the podcast. I'd also love your feedback on this episode. You can scroll down on your app and click write a review. I'd love to read your takeaways from this conversation. As always, don't forget to take courage, trust God, and go pursue your big ideas. See you next time. The Dream Introvert is produced by Sheepack.com and Remy Roy. Want to ask a question or share a comment in a future episode? Click on the link in the show notes to record your question in a voicemail.