Why Do I Feel Lost in Life? for Introverts Who Are Ready to Ditch Fear and Be All They Were Meant to Be

Do you ever find yourself asking, “Why do I feel lost?”

Maybe life looks fine on the outside, but on the inside, you feel disconnected from yourself.

You’re doing the things you’re supposed to do, showing up where you’re supposed to show up, and maybe even staying inside your comfort zone because it feels safer there.

But deep down, something still feels off.

In this episode, I’m asking the question “why do I feel lost?” and reflecting on chapter 19 of The Next Right Thing by Emily P. Freeman, called Come Home to Yourself. This chapter invites us to pay attention to the relationship we often forget: the relationship we have with ourselves.

This episode is for the introvert, dreamer, or purpose-driven person who feels disconnected, unsure, or afraid to trust themselves.

Maybe you’ve wondered what your gifts are.

Maybe you’ve questioned what God created you to do.

Maybe you’ve dismissed the kind words people have spoken over you because it felt easier to focus on your doubts.

But what if those words are hints?

What if God has been using your life, your desires, your relationships, and even the encouragement of trusted people to show you who you are?

If you’ve been asking “why do I feel lost?”, maybe the next right thing is not to chase a whole new life.

Maybe it is to notice where you have felt most alive.

Where you have felt most yourself.

Where you have seen God’s fingerprints in your personality, your gifts, your longings, and your story.

Send me an email and tell me: when was the last time you felt most like yourself?

Share this episode with a friend who feels disconnected or unsure of their next step.

Leave a review and let me know what stood out to you from this conversation.

Thanks for being here! If you'd like to support the show, please visit buymeacoffee.com/remiroy to give a one-time or monthly gift. 

And if you can’t give financially right now? A rating, a review, or simply sharing the show with a friend goes such a long way.

Thank you for being here. I see you. I appreciate you.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_01 0:00

It is a wild and wonderful thing to bump into someone and realize it's you. This is a quote by Phil Anderson from the book The Next Right Thing by Emily P. Freeman, and I love it. When I was struggling to find myself, I had very little confidence. I stayed away from situations where I would be required to do things I was afraid to do. I questioned myself constantly, I didn't believe there was much to me. And my dreams were just that. They were just dreams. I had no strength to pursue them. I merely existed instead of living. I wanted to live, but I was just existing. And somehow, this is really weird, there was a comfort in doing that. There was a comfort in being without expectations because it didn't require me to stretch. Of course, it's called a comfort zone for a reason. But even though I was comfortable in that zone, I didn't feel like me. I felt like I was yet to find myself, I didn't know who I was, and I wasn't at home with myself. Fast forward many years from that feeling, I have truly changed. I'm stretching myself every day. I'm trying things I would never have thought, not in a million years, that I would say yes to. I'm putting myself in very uncomfortable situations day after day after day. I'm not questioning myself the same way anymore, and I'm taking bold steps that require a lot of gumption, a lot of hope, a lot of trust, and a lot of faith. And I am not comfortable. I feel like I'm flinging around like a ragdoll, tied to the back of a galloping horse. Just picture that. And yet, I have never felt more like myself. I have never felt more alive, more hopeful, more me. This feels like a weird contradiction to me, and I would like to explore it with you. Let's get into it. You're listening to the Driven Introvert Podcast, the place to be for dreamers, doers, and entrepreneurs who are ready to burst the dreams, callings, and ideas the Lord has placed in their hearts. Do you sense that God is calling you to step out and do something new, but you're held back by fear and uncertainty? Do you struggle with believing that you can do great things because of your quiet, reserved, and introverted nature? Welcome here. I'm Remy Roy, your host and founder of ShePacked.com. I'm an author, an entrepreneur, a creative, and a committed trier. I'm here to help you get on stock and make progress on your God idea. Let's go. Alright, so we're in chapter 19 of the book The Next Right Thing by Emily P. Freeman, and this chapter is titled Come Home to Yourself. I love what she tries to dig into in this chapter. She gives a little recap of the things we've talked about in the book so far. We've talked about the different people we turn to when we struggle with decisions. We've talked about being honest about our decision-making patterns. We've talked about becoming aware of our need for a no-mentor. We've talked about deciding not to give our critic words. But then she talks about a relationship we often forget, and that is the relationship with ourselves. When life becomes unpredictable and unsure, Emily says it is easy to scatter, you know, panic, come on and forget who we are. And this happens to me a lot. I'm finding that every time I find myself in a situation where I feel undone, where I feel like I'm facing chaos I have never understood or faced before, where I don't know how to navigate what is in front of me, it is usually a call for me to come back to myself. And when I say coming back to myself, I also mean coming back to God. Because for me, in Him I leave and move and have my being. It is a way of getting centered again, finding my balance again. Have you ever felt unsafe in your own presence? Maybe you're that kind of person where you don't like to sit by yourself. You don't like to sit with your thoughts. Maybe because you don't know where they're gonna take you. Sometimes I do that when I have a decision to make and it is a scary one. I feel my time with business, so I don't have to sit and face it. I don't have to just focus and okay, what do I want to do here? You might be feeling that right now, but you cannot go home when home is unsafe. So you need to be safe with yourself. Maybe your next right thing today is just to recognize all the ways you have become your own enemy, all the ways you haven't trusted yourself, all the ways you haven't believed in yourself, and all the ways you haven't given yourself time to grow, to heal, to go deep, and to find your identity in God. So, what does it mean to come home to yourself? I love that in this book, Emily says God is always giving us hints about who we are and how he has made us. And those hints can come through other people. Definitely, it can. Maybe it's time to look around you. Identify the people you trust, the people who have your best interest at heart. Maybe it's time to see yourself reflected in their eyes, in their thoughts and in their words. Sometimes we need that. We need that affirmation from people around us who really love us, not in an unhealthy way, but in a way that can help us ground ourselves again. So when people compliment you, when they speak kind words over you, when they offer gratitude for something you've done or for the person you are, instead of pushing those compliments away, maybe it's time to listen. Maybe there are hints in those words. Maybe there's something there that points to who you are and who God has made you to be. When we're trying to find ourselves and come back to ourselves, Emily says one of the lessons we can learn is that our gifts and talents can be reflected through people and what they compliment us for. The things that people congratulate you on, the things that you do that makes a difference in the lives of others. So pay attention to those clues. Let me give you an idea that may feel like a kind of like a contradiction. You might be a leader, but that does not mean you have to be in a crowd of people all the time. It means there's an ability to see people where they are, really see them and lead them. Or if you've ever thought, I don't know what my gifts are, I don't know what I'm good at, then listen for what people say. Listen for how you make people feel. Listen for the impact you already are having in your life. Those things can give you a hint.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

So I wonder, right now, can you think of a time when you felt most like yourself?

SPEAKER_01 7:36

Where were you? What were you doing? Who were you with? And Emily says to consider who were you not with. That question can actually help you get familiar with your own giftedness, your personality, maybe even your friendships. Let me give you an example. I have never considered myself a people person. I'm an introvert. I enjoy time by myself more than being around lots of people. So I just accepted that I was not a people person. And for many years, that's what I told, that's what I told myself. And sometimes I feel like running away from gatherings. But my work now requires me to show interest in people, to care for them, to pay attention to them, to help them out. And I'm glad I listened. I'm glad I came home to myself and expected who I was being called to be. Because maybe being a people person doesn't always look like being the loudest person in the room.

SPEAKER_00 8:28

I think we we conflict those two things.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

You could actually be the friendliest, loudest, most gregarious person in the room. You make people laugh and all of that. But you may not be the best people person. You might be selfish and only do it for the laugh, do it for the attention, and not because you really care about people and you really see them. And you might actually be a quiet person. Maybe you're not the first to say, hey, everybody gather around me. But you see people, you care for them, and you reach out in a way that touches them. So being a people person maybe can look like seeing people deeply, listening well, caring with attention, making space for others. And maybe that is part of who God made me to be.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

My work now involves me just connecting with lots of people and really seeing them, paying attention. And I'm glad I listened.

SPEAKER_01 9:26

I'm glad I listened to the voice of people around me. And I'm glad I listened to the voice of God calling me higher, calling me to more. One very crucial thing to know is that an intentional life requires attention. If you're someone who desires to live an intentional life, if you're somebody who does not want to drift through life, if you want to become the best version of who you were meant to be, then you gotta spend time with yourself. You gotta take time to notice. It requires you to pay attention. And I promise you, it matters. It matters. You cannot keep ignoring yourself and expect to live fully awake. No, you cannot keep running from your own thoughts and expect to feel at home in your life. You cannot keep dismissing the hints God has given you and expect to know what your next right then is. So coming home to yourself means learning to pay attention to your life, your desires, your gifts, your fears, your relationships, your patterns, most of all to the God who made you and knows you fully. Pay attention to yourself. If you're wondering, what does it mean to live an intentional life? Let's not overthink this. Right? It means you're asking yourself questions every day. Where am I? How can I do better? Who am I? How can I be better?

SPEAKER_00 10:47

You're not just drifting, you're not just going from one day to another, like doing the bare minimum, but you're paying attention. This is very crucial. I love the practice Emily includes in this book. Emily asks us, go forward and backward in your life and ask, when did I feel most like myself?

SPEAKER_01 11:11

It's very important. If you have trouble coming up with those answers, remember that you have a God who always fills in the gaps. His presence is where you will find yourself. And as you consider what it means for you to make peace with yourself on the inside, here are some familiar words from Psalm 139. You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up, you understand my thought from afar, you scrutinize my path and my lying down, and are intimately acquainted with all my ways. This is David talking about how God is so involved in every fabric of his being. And it's the same with us today. God loves us, he knows everything, he knows where we are, he knows what we need. So when we come back to him, we come back to ourselves. And this is something I try to practice every day. In my prayer time, sometimes some days are better than others. Some days I'm hurried, I'm harried, I have so much to do, and I barely have time to squeeze in. But I always want to come back to a place of Lord, I am here. Show me what I need to do, what I need to be, and how I can draw closer to you, and in turn, draw closer to myself, be at home with myself.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

Alright, so here's what I want you to think about today. Maybe your next right thing is not to chase something new, maybe it's to pay attention to what God has already been showing you.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

Maybe it's to stop running from your own presence, to spend some time with yourself, to become safe with yourself again. Maybe it's time to come home to yourself. Alright, so we've been talking about what it means to come home to yourself. We talked about the comfort zone and how comfort does not always mean we are being true to who we are. We talked about how sometimes stretching, risk, and faith can make us feel more alive and more like ourselves than safety ever did. We talked about the relationship we often forget, which is the relationship with ourselves. And we talked about listening for the hints God gives us through our lives, our gifts, our desires, and even the words of people who love us, and then paying attention to the moments when we feel most like ourselves. Because these moments may be pointing us back to who God has made us to be. I hope this encouraged you. I'd love to hear your thoughts about this episode. Send me an email at the Driven Introvert and let me know what stood out to you. Thank you so much for listening to this one, and I'll see you in the next one. Bye. Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoy this conversation, please take a moment to follow or subscribe to the podcast. I'd also love your feedback on this episode. You can scroll down on your app and click write a review. I'd love to read your takeaways from this conversation. As always, don't forget to take courage, trust God, and go pursue your big ideas. See you next time. The Driven Intervet is produced by Cheapack.com and Remy Roy. Want to ask a question or share a comment on a future episode? Click on the link in the show notes to record your question in a voicemail.