How to Make Big Decisions Without Calling a Committee (For Introvert Leaders)

Let's talk about how to make decisions. Unmade decisions create a heavy kind of chaos, especially as an introvert. We carry them everywhere, into our work, our families, even our prayers. In this episode, I reflect on Emily P. Freeman’s book The Next Right Thing (on How to Make Decisions) and what it means to become a “soul minimalist.”

Instead of calling a committee every time we’re at a crossroads, what if we cleared the clutter, leaned into silence, and made space to hear God?

I share:

• The kinds of big decisions that often leave us stuck
• Why asking for more input can sometimes make things worse
• How I made one of the biggest decisions of my life by staying quiet first
• Practical ways to fast from noise and distractions so you can hear what matters most

If you’re considering how to make decisions and you're carrying a decision that feels too heavy, this one’s for you.

Whether you're navigating uncertainty in life or trying to get unstuck, listen in.

For introverts, introvert leaders, and anyone interested in personal growth for introverts.

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Transcript

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Hi friend. Today's episode is for you if you've ever felt stuck between two big decisions and just didn't know which way to go. You are not alone. I want to share what I've been learning, what Emily P. Freeman's book, The Next Right Thing, Says about Soul Minimalism, and how that has helped me make one of the biggest decisions of my life. Let's get into it. You're listening to the Driven Introvert Podcast, the place to be for dreamers, doers, and entrepreneurs who are ready to birth the dreams, callings, and ideas the Lord has placed in their hearts. Do you sense that God is calling you to step out and do something new, but you're held back by fear and uncertainty? Do you struggle with believing that you can do great things because of your quiet, reserved, and introverted nature? Welcome here. I'm Remy Roy, your host and founder of ShePact.com. I'm an author, an entrepreneur, a creative, and a committed trier. I'm here to help you get on stuck and make progress on your God idea. Let's go! So I'm continuing the series on decision making, and we're going through the book The Next Right Thing. Let's talk about the chaos of unmade decisions. Have you ever found yourself in that place? You know, you are at a crossroads. You have a big step in front of you, but you have no idea which direction to go. You tend to carry that decision with you everywhere. Like you feel it physically in your body, in your mind. You can't rest, it's exhausting. And sometimes people are even waiting for you to decide and make that decision. And all you can say is, I don't know, I'll get back to you. I love this quote from Emily's book in chapter two that we're going through today. It says, A whispered chaos swells in the mind of those who carry on made decisions. This is not a place you want to be for an extended period of time because it causes stress in your mind, in your body. So let's talk about how do we usually make decisions. When you have an important decision to make, do you tend to gather more impute? Like you want to know what people think, you want to call a committee, you want to gather their perspectives and all of that. This is what Emily says in her book. She says, and I quote, When I have an important decision to make, my tendency is to get more impute, not less. I approach my daily decisions and plans for the future like a hoarder, gathering opinions, facts, perspectives, and lists. But what if I approach them like a minimalist, clearing space, quieting my mind, and listening for whispers and the silence? Would it make a difference? End quote. I think the answer is a big yes. I really do. Because a lot of the time, the decisions we're trying to make, the answer that we would normally gravitate towards based on our experiences, based on our perspective, our lived experience, it's within us most of the time. We know what we would rather do. But the noise around us, the questions, the perspectives, the worries and the doubts, all of that crowds our mind and we're not able to take action. So this is what Emily suggests. What if we became so minimalist? What if we cleared out the clutter, we silenced the noise and make space to actually hear what is most important? So what are these big decisions that we usually have to make, right? They tend to be the big ones that paralyze us. They're crossroad moment, they're life-altering kinds of decisions. Should I go to grad school and invest that time and money? Should I move to a new country and output everything I've known? My family, my friends, stability, financial security, all of that, to start all over again in a new country? Should I switch jobs and risk being in the same draining situation? What if the new job is just as bad as the last? What if I start this job and two weeks into it I start to hate it? Or should I marry this person? Are we gonna have a good life together? Are they gonna be good to me? Or should I have kids? When every parent I know seems stressed and kind of unhappy? Is this what I want to do? You've probably faced one of these situations before. I know that to be true. And maybe you're facing that right now. So the question is, how do you come to answers when you're seeking direction about a decision you want to make? Are you that person who calls a committee? Are you the person who tends to ask everyone what they think? What would you do if you were me? You ask, or do you think I should do this? Sometimes we just want someone to tell us what to do. Sort of abdicating the responsibility of the weight and heaviness of that decision we're trying to make. And while there's nothing wrong with seeking advice, we need to remember their experiences are not yours. Their opinions, while helpful, it cannot replace your own discernment as you think about this decision you want to make. So Emily talks about becoming a soul minimalist, which is sort of uh uh uh a framework for thinking about the decisions you want to make. It's a state of mind that helps you make decisions, I believe, better and faster. Being a soul minimalist essentially means stripping things down to the essentials. When you do that, you begin to evaluate the kind of input you're letting into your mind, the noise, the voices, the opinions. And if we really want to face it, one of the biggest sources of that noise is our phones, social media, the news, YouTube, podcasts, emails, notifications. We fill our minds with so much that there's no room for clarity, there's no room for peace. Which brings me back to the most crucial part of this conversation is getting quiet with God. Emily Wright and I quote, We come forward with a huge life decision and we long for answers, but we get nothing. So we talk ourselves in circles, we pray, ask for advice, and still nothing rises to the surface. And then she says something very beautiful. What's been most helpful isn't the advice, the list, or the questions, it's simply getting quiet in a room with Jesus, not for the sake of answers, but for the sake of love. That really hit me. So if you're not used to quieting your soul, praying and reflecting, I encourage you to start now. Because when those crossroads moments come again and they will, because this is the way life is set up, those big decisions will always come. You're gonna need that space, that practice, that muscle of reflection and quietness that you've built. I want to share with you a little bit about my own crossroads moment. Last year in November, I had a big decision to make. I didn't know exactly where it would lead, but I felt something stirring inside of me. It was an idea that I'd come up with. And if you know me, I say this all the time. I'm an ideas person. I'm I've made peace with that now. But instead of announcing this idea, I kept it quiet for three weeks. I didn't even tell my husband I needed space to think, to pray, and to reflect. Eventually I said yes to that decision, and that decision was to start a company called Podground. So, as you know, I am really into the podcast in space. I have this podcast, I enjoy it. And um, because I am always like learning in this space, I really got to the point where I had an idea of how to make things better, how to create community for other podcasters, how to encourage learning and growth, how to just make space for people to connect and find each other. And that's how the idea of podground actually started. So we are actually in the developmental and building phase right now. It is essentially a tech startup. Um, and it stretched me in the best way possible. If you want more information about it, you can go to podground.io. Now it's moving so fast I can barely catch my breath. It's demanding so much time, energy, and frankly money. But I have peace, I have joy, I have faith that I'm doing the right thing, and that clarity came because I got quiet first. So I want to encourage you. Maybe you need to take a fast. If you're in that in-between space right now, you're trying to make a decision between option A, B, or even C, I want to encourage you to fast. You can fast from food and pray, that's great. But for this conversation, most importantly, think about fasting from tech. From social media, from the news, the whole nine yards. Fast from other people's opinions. Fast from constant impute. And all of this is so that you can hear the voice that matters most. Let God speak to you. Emily Wright and I quote, We're letting everyone else's agenda live for free in the sacred space of our creative mind, and it's time for an eviction. This space is necessary for ideas to form, for questions to rise to the surface, for hope to weave her way into the vision for the future, and for the dots of decision to begin to connect in the quiet places of our mind and heart. She says good decisions require creativity, and creativity requires space. This space is necessary for you to speak out against injustices you see in the world, the problems you know you can help solve, and the beauty you long to deliver. I find this to be true. I needed space to be able to come up with ideas, to be creative. We all do need space. You cannot hear clearly in chaos. So it's time to cut the distractions you can actually control. Yes, life itself has interruptions. You know, just the busyness of life, responsibilities, family, kids, work, all of that. But there's a whole category of distractions you do have control over. You can put down your phone, you can step away from social media, you can schedule silence into your day, make room for what matters. Emily ends every chapter in this book with a quote or I should say a practice. And for this chapter two of the book, the practice is notice the silence. She writes and I quote, silence may be more accessible than you think. Begin to notice the naturally silent spaces in your days, the first light of morning, your office space when you arrive early, the walk to the mailbox, your apartment before your roommate gets home from work, the drive to the grocery store. Rather than filling these times with sound, you know, podcast, music, radio, whatever it is, or holding to the soul clutter by rehearsing past conversations or future possibilities, decide instead to let yourself be quiet inside the silence and see if your friend Jesus has something to say. So what decisions are you trying to make right now? What decisions are you avoiding? What decisions have you been putting off? What thing do you need to face even if it's hard? What silence do you need to create so God can speak to you? Don't let unmade decisions steal your peace. Let the Lord guide you. Thank you so much for listening, as always. If any part of this episode spoke to you, I would love to hear from you. Tell me what you're working on, tell me what you're considering, tell me what you're wrestling with, whatever decisions that are ahead of you. I would love to talk and pray with you. Email me at thedrivenintrovert at chipack.com and let me know what decision you're facing and how you're navigating it. Alright, in subsequent episodes, I will tell you more about Park Ground, about the experience that I'm having working through building this um company from the ground up because it's it's been stretching me in the best way possible. Alright, thank you so much for listening to this one, and I'll see you in the next one. Bye. Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoy this conversation, please take a moment to follow or subscribe to the podcast. I'd also love your feedback on this episode. You can scroll down on your app and click write a review. I'd love to read your takeaways from this conversation. As always, don't forget to take courage, trust God, and go pursue your big ideas. See you next time. The Dream Introvert is produced by ShePack.com and Remy Roy. Want to ask a question or share a comment in a future episode? Click on the link in the show notes to record your question in a voicemail.